#DontDoThis: Zombie Nation
You're sipping your coffee and getting through some work emails when your phone pings. A text. From...are you frigging kidding me??
That guy that ghosted you 3 months ago. Or that girl you asked out and then fell off the face of the earth.
Put the phone down. And read this first. You've just been zombied.
I wrote about ghosting recently and how I'm disappointed this is still a thing. Well, zombies are worse. And they're popping up more and more. When the Washington Post is writing about zombies, you know they're a problem.
They're the folks that disappear, then surface weeks, MONTHS later acting like nothing happened and OMG where have you been?
The thing is, something DID happen. They were disrespectful to you. And now they're not even trying to make amends. They're just breezily checking back in like oh hey, what's up.
If you make plans with someone and they disappear, or you're seeing someone and suddenly they stop texting, that's ghosting. It's rude. At the very least, all they had to do was let you know it wasn't working out for them and that they were moving on. But they chose the coward's way out.
So what do you do? My personal advice is to ignore them. They don't deserve an answer because they treated you badly. However, maybe you're curious about what happened and why they peaced out permanently. If that's the case - and ONLY if you are over them for real - you can respond and see what they say.
I can almost guarantee it will be some variation on "I just got really busy/things got crazy/had a lot going on with my family" which btw is all a bunch of bull because a simple text takes a couple of minutes.
Of course, if they have a legit reason like getting hit by a truck, alrighty then. You can continue talking to them. But more likely than not, they're just full of vague excuses.
What I suggest is that you either ignore them or even block their number. A healthy person creates boundaries in their personal life that once crossed show that someone can't be trusted. Bad behavior like ghosting is indicative of a lack of respect for other people. Come on, you don't want to allow that into your life! Not when there are plenty of great people out there who won't do that to you.
So sideline those pesky zombies permanently.
What if YOU are the zombie? Think twice about contacting someone you ghosted. If you really want to reach back out, then do so with a text that first APOLOGIZES for ghosting and explains why you did so. Be prepared for a frosty reception. Because you did a crappy thing.
And if they actually respond and are nice about it, then whatever you do, DO NOT GHOST THEM AGAIN. This time, handle things the right way.
Be decent. Be human.
Have you been zombied? Let us know in the comments below! Or maybe you had an a-ha moment and now recognize the jerk zombie in your life. If so, please share the post so others can take action as well! Love is soooo worth it. :)